Check my script -first page-
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    yassine started this thread.
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    Post Check my script -first page-

    Hi guys , I recently started writing a script for a short film , I would love to know what u think about it
    short.pdf

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    Super Moderator   Check my script -first page- Check my script -first page- Check my script -first page- Check my script -first page- mara's Avatar
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    Not bad but a few quick pointers: (1) only put a name in all capitals the first time it appears; (2) you need a full slug line where you have "landscape of mountains..."; (3) avoid directorial guidance such as "cut to" unless you're planning to direct this yourself; (4) don't use a period (.) within a slug line; (5) there's no way for the reader to know that Jack is now talking to an invisible person rather than himself; (5) avoid parenthetical comments such as "breathing heavily and talking to himself."

    Screenwriter and script consultant: www.maralesemann.com

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    Quote Originally Posted by mara View Post
    Not bad but a few quick pointers: (1) only put a name in all capitals the first time it appears; (2) you need a full slug line where you have "landscape of mountains..."; (3) avoid directorial guidance such as "cut to" unless you're planning to direct this yourself; (4) don't use a period (.) within a slug line; (5) there's no way for the reader to know that Jack is now talking to an invisible person rather than himself; (5) avoid parenthetical comments such as "breathing heavily and talking to himself."
    Thank you soo much that was really helpful , I just started learning how to write and decided to write something to practice what I have learned so far , again i appreciate your feedback and the info ^^


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