Critic My Script( Short Film)
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Topic: Critic My Script( Short Film)

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    JakeMuniz1999 started this thread.
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    Default Critic My Script( Short Film)

    I'm a sophomore in high school. I haven't shown anybody else yet. I wanted to post it here before I put it into production. Tear it apart. Thanks for reading.

    https :// com /file/d/0B-U8RZj2zUW2NXpMb2duM0pBMW8/view?usp=sharing
    Delete the spaces.

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  2. #2
    Pro Member   Critic My Script( Short Film) Mick Scarborough's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
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    Proof read your script. There are typos all through it.

    The script didn't read smoothly. Maybe on film it would show better but reading it, it seemed disjointed. Also you called daves living room an exterior shot and when he was in the back yard you state the room is swirling. Overall the script seems rushed. Too much detail on whats sitting on a night stand and not enough on what the character is doing. As I said, proof read it. I dont mean scan it but read every word and find all your errors then look at how its written. Your story is okay but the script needs re-writing. Dont be dismayed, most scripts go through many revisions before they are done.

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