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Short Film: Imagination

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  • Short Film: Imagination

    This is a short film I made about a year ago for a school project. It was fiilmed in a bit of a rush and some things are pretty bad, but still what do you guys think? I would appreciate every critique.

  • #2
    I think this was cool.

    I see you spent some time on getting some these shots just right, like when you first reveal the two standing out in the open (the clouds)

    But you are missing something every short should have, even if its 1 minute long. And that is a story line.

    Someone once said to me, If you want to be a special effects artist then your film will need special effects, or if you want to be a stunt coordinator then your films will need stunts in them. But if you want to be a "filmmaker" you films need to have a story line.

    Just my two cents.

    Keep it up
    Distribber - Keep 100% of your film's revenue


    • #3
      Thank you very much for this tip!


      • #4
        Really great work. The sky between 1:46 and 1:51 was amazing. Did you enhance that with After Effects?

        Agree with Nick. It needs a storyline. Are we to believe that your main character so hated to be asked to show his card that he fantasized about just destroying the other guy?

        Movie watching requires what's called a "suspension of disbelief" but you're taxing the viewers ability to do so.

        Great work. Keep it up.


        • #5
          Yes indeed, the clouds are After Effects generated. :)
          The initial idea of the story was that this guy had some problems with his mind and imagination, so when he had to show the card he just imaginated beating the crap out of the other guy. The thing is, though, that the whole story sounded a lot better in my head and I actually didn't write the screenplay due to the lack of time and me thinking that I don't actually need it ... yeah.
          But anyways, thanks for the tip!


          • #6
            the first thing was the credits were way too long. at the beginning, why even have credits, i say get to the story already, i'm one of those viewers that needs to know what's going on real quick and that's why i thought the story was too slow to develop, plus why does he blow up the turnstile guard? so i agree with some above that the story needs to be developed more, maybe at the beginning throw some flashbacks or something, i mean he starts fighting this guy in his head? why should we care about the guy?


            • #7
              Originally posted by darkraider View Post
              Yes indeed, the clouds are After Effects generated. :)
              You should do a video tutorial on how you did the sky in After Effects.


              • #8
                I think if you are going to do a sky replacement you should do it for the whole scene. you went from cool sky to blown out sky to bluish shy. Motion track that bitch.