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My new Short Film Preview - "Contemplating"

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  • My new Short Film Preview - "Contemplating"

    I want to say before you view this that it is not complete but this is as far as I got with the editing currently.

    I invite all constructive criticism, please!

    This film is going to show a perspective change at some point and the emphasis will be on the our thoughts are only a result of our perspective. There are many things that can change our perspective.


    Last edited by Aaron Jones; 10-02-2013, 02:52 PM.

  • #2
    Yeah, but...

    You have a great cinematogpher's eye, a couple of points, though: the audio sucked. Second point, the rule of thirds says your positioning of the character in the opening shot was wrong. you have him too far to the left, then you have him dead center. Both are wrong. he should be in right third of the frame. Other than that, the zooms, cuts, close-ups, transitions, etc, were excellent.

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    • #3
      The part that stands out to me that I would have done differently is the end. The compositing of the main character in the chair over the close up of the girl in the car just doesnt work. I guess because its full screen, a different color grading and the wide shot vs closeup it just sits wrong in the eyes. The girl shows little to no emotion in that scene as well and is unconvincing. The rest of it was a great project and a brave subject matter.

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      • #4
        Thank you for your comments. As I stated earlier it is not finished and I hope to put some of the advice I receive to the work of it. This is my first short, well besides that other one I posted but I don't count that one at all. Thank you again, much love for your honesty.
        Last edited by Aaron Jones; 09-30-2013, 05:39 PM.

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        • #5
          Updated the first post with another edited version to fill in a couple of black holes.

          I would like to point out something very obvious. I started at this site a little while ago and I have learned so much in this short time that I have been here. I want to show all just how much. Here is the same short called "Contemplating" that I shot before I got any cam equipment and had no understanding on how to shoot a film. Not to say that I'm a pro but I know I have gotten better by leaps and bounds and I'm constantly learning everyday. This site and Youtube is my main resource for learning this craft. I have to say that I enjoy it to the fullest.

          Here is my first one before this site had a great impression on me:

          Last edited by Aaron Jones; 10-02-2013, 02:52 PM.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by garylloyd View Post
            You have a great cinematogpher's eye, a couple of points, though: the audio sucked. Second point, the rule of thirds says your positioning of the character in the opening shot was wrong. you have him too far to the left, then you have him dead center. Both are wrong. he should be in right third of the frame. Other than that, the zooms, cuts, close-ups, transitions, etc, were excellent.
            Thank you for your comments and I just learned about the rule of the third but failed to remember to adopt it in my approach. I love the critiques and I'm getting a lot out of it from you and Mick Scarborough.

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            • #7
              Aaron keep up the good work, make as many films as you can and learn why some look good and why others just didn't work. Keep it up buddy!
              Distribber - Keep 100% of your film's revenue

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              • #8
                I have a professional Cinematographer coming over Saturday to go through this segment with me frame by frame. He is going to give me tips on how to improve my project. Oh, his name is Eric Cordier just in case anyone knows him. His site is GlobalCreativeConsultants.com.

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                • #9
                  Good stuff Aaron... A very touchy topic.

                  I agree with most of the other comments here. Work on the rule of Thirds, and I suggest finding some other way to composite that final scene because as Mick said, it just doesn't work the way you've done it.

                  Another thing that I brought up before, is that you should output your render at 24fps. Even though you're camera doesn't shoot in 24fps, you can force Premiere to reverse telecine the footage. This will give it a more cinematic feeling. If you agree and need any help with this, I can help walk you through it or find a good tutorial that explains it. I usually output everything at 24fps because I think 30fps only works for talk shows and soap operas.

                  Hahaha... Even if they could make a 120,000,000 fps TV, 24fps will never die...

                  You're a talented guy Aaron, and I can see that you've improved since I first saw your work, so I'm excited to see you continue. I hope one day to work with some of the people here on this forum, and you're at the top of my list!

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                  • #10
                    Thank you Space and others for your comments and suggestions. I am greatful for the honesty. I recently talked to a professional Cinematographer here in my town that have seen this segment and he gave me frame by frame critiques. He teaches Cinematography at a college nearby. His comments was greatly appreciated and received. He mentioned that the rule of the thirds as well. He also mentioned the scene progression and the story itself. He said that the segments between angle changes were too long. They should only be 30 seconds in length max. He says this is one of the ways to set rhythm and flow to the story. He mentioned that the gun came out too soon and that it was a long drawn out process deliberating. He broke down the industry standard mistakes and separated his opinionated thoughts along with what was good about it. He applauded some of the things that I was trying to achieve and gave me more information on how to improve them. It was a great session with him as it is with you guys. Thank you so much for all of your input. Like I have mentioned this segment is not the beginning nor is it the end of the short. I will try and incorporate all the good suggestions and comments at my next stab at this short. I wil scrap what I have and reshoot to bring more to the table of the story.

                    Posted from my mobile Phone...
                    Last edited by Aaron Jones; 10-11-2013, 03:40 PM.

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