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(PRE)MATURE - Short Film

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  • (PRE)MATURE - Short Film

    Hi Everyone, new to the forums as of this week so thought I'd post up my latest short as a bit of an introduction.

    This was filmed in December 2012 over a long 14 hour day. Crew of 2 and a Cast of 2. Budget for this was just over 100 and was filmed on a single Af101 with a 50mm lens. Editing took place over the following months, and released online in April 2013.

    Would love to know your thoughts on it- Production, Story, Filming... Anything! :)

    (PRE)MATURE - Short Film

    Here is also a quick interview with the cast at 4am - filmed just after we shot the final scene. Very tired!
    Last edited by Rob Collins; 06-27-2013, 05:30 AM.
    Rob Collins | Breakout Films

  • #2
    You say you did it with a small crew, and on one did that go? Any advice for filming a film on one camera?


    • #3
      Congrats, Rob! This is a good looking film.

      I very rarely critique others' work, but you seem genuinely interested, so here goes.

      Technically, the film is pretty well shot and put together. It does have a couple of the typical "low-budget" issues that I tend to find annoying:

      One is what I like to call "fishing for focus". If you're going to shoot with a shallow DoF, its a very good idea to have a 1st AC to measure and pull your focus. Nothing kicks me out of a piece quite like focus fishing. But maybe that's because I'm a cameraman myself.

      Another issue is that a few of your shot transitions were a bit awkward. If you're cutting on a movement, you need to know the right frame to cut out of so that the transition is seamless. Several of your transition cuts were too late. Don't know if that makes any sense, but an experienced editor will know what I mean.

      But those are minor quibbles. Overall, you did a very nice job with lighting, angles, etc. Sound work was decent.

      Okay...(deep breath)...the bigger stuff...

      I lost patience with this story very quickly. If your lead actress wasn't so fetching, I would have tuned out by the halfway point. It wasn't until the big argument following the bathroom scene that I had any clue what this couple's relationship was. Maybe that was intentional, but honestly it doesn't work.

      (spoiler alert) I never for one moment believed that these two were married, let alone parents! I thought she was just some frigid, drunk chick he picked up in the hotel bar. I don't know whether you yourself are married, but as someone who has been married for 21 years I can tell you there is a very particular way married people interact with one another, even those who have been together for a relatively short time. It's difficult to describe using any sort of specifics, but you know it when you've lived it.

      I understand that these two characters have a particular issue they are confronting in their relationship, but it just seemed like actors speaking lines from a script; for me, there was no verisimilitude in the dialogue.

      There are many good examples in films of marital infidelity confrontations. One that springs to mind is in a movie called "The Firm". That relationship conflict was handled pretty well. You might check it out if you haven't seen it.

      I think your cast was capable, but he was a bit young-looking for the role. Don't know his actual age, but he's quite youthful onscreen -- reminded me a bit of Jake Gyllenhaal in "Donnie Darko". His acting was fine, but a little more mature-looking actor might have been more convincing. She was lovely -- a face and eyes that the camera adores!

      Good job, sir! Hope you take the above in the spirit in which it's intended. There's a very good reason I seldom provide criticism...once bitten, twice shy.
      2001 Productions Web Site


      • #4
        Why in the hell would he by carrying that picture in his pocket? Fucking moron!!


        • #5
          Overall I think that this was a good job. Good filming and angles. I hope to be able to make films this good as I am a beginner. I look forward to more!

          One or two places the face of the female was shown in low light and it took away from her beauty.

          I think that the female actress did a good job and she was very believable. The tears were awesome and gave the real touch to me. Of course, I'm know experienced film maker but I know what moves me. The male actor did a good job for the most part but maybe this part was not for his personality that he displayed.