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  • Critiques Needed

    This is a scene from my defunct movie. But, I want to make a decent demo and this is kind of in the zone. But, it's definitely missing something.

    I can't reshoot, do ADR or anything except continue editing. I know the lighting isn't great, but that's the way it is. So, critiques on things I can't change are fairly worthless.

    The set up is George Charles (Brandon Schraml) is holding auditions for the lead in his lo-budget feature The Missing. He's meeting the casting agent Leslie (Leslie Hughes)at the studio, she was the cheapest he could find. The girl that exits the apartment is Nancy Nelson (bitch), she's the female lead in Leading Lady and is a struggling actress.

    The old man that she talks to is Joel Reed the writer/director of the cult classic Bloodsucking Freaks. If this shoot wasn't so horrible, this guy is a blast.

    Anyway here it is. There's a lot of dialogue, I personally like dialogue.


  • #2
    I liked it! It was well produced and acted. I found it very amusing and wanted to see more.
    L A Morgan
    Novels, Screenplays, Short Scripts, and Music
    http://lamorganwriter.com

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    • #3
      Thank You.

      It has it's moments. But, I just know there could be more.

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      • #4
        I was watching up to 2:34 and the video stopped and it says error occurred please try again later. I haven't been able to reload it but up to that point I think it was fairly good. The music choice I feel could have been a bit better and I feel that the camera was too still for the very beginning where the lady was talking I think some movement of the camera would have made the scene more interesting. Other than that I think the actor was very good! Keep it up!

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        • #5
          I am also getting an error.
          http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOnlyHavey

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          • #6
            Well that blows. I'll have to redo the export and upload.

            Thanks for letting me know.

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            • #7
              Hopefully this will work. It's also longer. I wish I could add the next part, but I can't.

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              • #8
                I really enjoyed that, Unique!

                There was a nice flow and timing to the comedy of it. I laughed pretty hard when Charles opens the door and sees Leslie drinking the Vodka and she offers it to him, and then when Charles finally decides to partake in Leslies vodka. And of course: "I take them with my coffee... They keep me regular!" Hahaha

                The acting was good, especially the overdone acting by the actresses auditioning. I especially enjoyed the woman who played Leslie.

                Critique:

                I'm not completely sure why, but I didn't like your opening scene. Personally,I would suggest adding an establishing shot of the studio or just move the shot where she enters the studio to be the first. My other suggestion, just to keep the beat up during the opening, maybe cut back and forth a bit between Leslie going through the building and Charles setting up. Again, this is just personal opinion.

                Are you planning on grading and color correcting this? I think it looks really good the way it is and the lighting seemed fine to me, but by personal preference, I think it could use a bit more contrast and an ever so slight bit of softening.

                ***

                Why is it defunct? Do you have any more footage?

                I think it feels *nearly* complete the way it is. Perhaps not complete as "Leading Lady", but as "Audition" it'd make a pretty decent short.

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                • #9
                  Nice job! If you figured out where to stop it, it could be a great short film!
                  -AF

                  sigpic

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by spacecadetmotionpictures View Post
                    I really enjoyed that, Unique!

                    Are you planning on grading and color correcting this? I think it looks really good the way it is and the lighting seemed fine to me, but by personal preference, I think it could use a bit more contrast and an ever so slight bit of softening.

                    ***

                    Why is it defunct? Do you have any more footage?

                    I think it feels *nearly* complete the way it is. Perhaps not complete as "Leading Lady", but as "Audition" it'd make a pretty decent short.

                    Thanks both space & Anon for the kind words.

                    I've color corrected it so the frames match, if you saw what it looked like before the color correction, you wouldn't believe your eyes. Once he moved the lights he destroyed the coloring. I still have work to do on the color for everything.

                    I never thought about a short film with the footage I have. What I've edited so far comes out to an hour and forty minutes, this scene is almost 20 minutes in. That's why it seems weird in the beginning, there's a lot before it. I'm using footage from 3 different casts (yes 3 DIFFERENT casts). I was never able to get complete footage of one full cast. Nightmare doesn't begin to describe this shoot. The really shameful part is, I'm so easy and laid back to be around and work with. I guess that might be the problem.

                    I still couldn't make a short because the lead actress (walking with the old man, has the full audition) refuses to sign her contract. That's why it's so important to get signed contracts before you shoot. She won't admit it, but she won't sign because the new director shot scenes with her, and she knows they weren't the scenes that were given to them to shoot. In the contract it says I can sue if they don't complete their duties, which she kind of did (and I wouldn't bother suing a poor person. It's a waste of time).

                    But, a short film is a good idea. I might look into what I can do about that.

                    THANKS again.

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                    • #11
                      What's with all the scratching the casting agent is doing. Made me uncomfortable.

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                      • #12
                        She had a rash. I can't put up anything after what I did, because one of the actresses gets topless. But, there's a really funny bit where Leslie asks George's advice about her rash.

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                        • #13
                          Ahhh...I see. Well, you can still put up the topless piece. We're all film makers here, and it part of the art we create. And anyway, I'd like to have a look at her fun bags ;)~

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