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We need Critiques for our Short Film

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  • We need Critiques for our Short Film

    Hey everyone we released a short film about 2 weeks ago that we'd been working really hard on and we're about to start on a new short and would like to improve as much as possible. Please help us out be giving us some real criticism. We're students and are looking to learn as much as possible and would love to get some purely objective critiques from fellow filmmakers.

  • #2
    All the settings are brimming with lines. I like that.


    • #3
      The Footage is really awesome! great colour correction and quality, what did you use too shoot it?

      Nice effects too, the lens flares on the exterior shots work well, JJ-esque ;) haha
      Kieran Croft - Filmmaker


      • #4
        I love the cinematography, especially around the pool. Some of the editing didn't work for me with your driving montage, I know I've seen the technique before but in the context you used it it seemed out of place. It felt unnecessary, with the Jarmushesque photography


        • #5
          good job. The outdoor scenes could benefit from lighting rather than natural light but that's all I saw. I liked the story as well.


          • #6
            Disregarding the writing for now:

            The shots were attractive but sometimes didn't seem to serve a purpose. For instance, after the first driving sequence with the frequent pan shots, which were very smooth and well done, but seemed pointless aside from quickening the pace and then dampening it when the shot changes to the one of the two characters talking.

            The audio isn't awful, but the mixing is a bit odd in that the background effects are, most of the time, louder than the dialogue. The dialogue was also recorded at odd angles in relation to the camera's perspective, so their voices sound like they are coming from somewhere else. The sound effects for the background were very good though, and they would sound fantastic if mixed in a more balanced manner.

            The actors didn't hold up the writing, which, dialogue wise, was quite good. I really enjoy off hand conversations in film and I could tell that what was written seemed genuine. Their performances were okay, but the writing had more potential.

            Overall, the cinematography was attractive, but not effective in some instances, the unbalanced sound mixing seems to be an easy fix that would make the film grasp the audience more, and the script was well written from what I've seen so far.

            Best wishes for the future, I hope all is well, and thank you for giving us the opportunity to view and critique your hard work!


            • #7
              Brilliant movie but as mentioned by FedeleE, the volume of the dialogue is too low or not balanced with the music/sfx/ambiance.
              Keep up the good work!
              Last edited by Anthony Berardo; 07-29-2014, 12:54 PM.


              • #8
                Hello Bishal,
                Wow, great effort, I liked it. You had a good script to start with.
                I thought it was well shot and the effects and foley were very good.
                I'm sure that it's not just this thread that has picked up that the sound mix is a little light on speech.
                It's a very tall order to direct and edit but I think you would benefit from splitting the two jobs.
                I didn't think the crazed gunman looked or acted the part, Jack Nicholson would have nailed it!
                I have no real right to critique though because I've never done anything near as good.