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Short film- Needing feedback PLEASE HELP

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  • Short film- Needing feedback PLEASE HELP

    Hey all -

    Just finished a short comedy film i wrote and directed. would LOVE any feedback if you can give a watch. Its a comedy so supposed to be funny but thats probably up for debate. Anyways if anyone has a spare 10 mins would love any feedback , good or bad.Would be so grateful and very helpful...even if you hate it id love to hear why.

    Looking for help as a new comedy film maker.

    thanks guys!!

    Just add the www to below as i can't post links yet

    vimeo.com/297431570/93f610b809

  • #2
    If I started watching it on netflix I'd turn it off by the three minute mark. There's nothing happening, it's really boring. Very nice photography and sound though. It had one funny moment when the guy pees on the other guy's shoe, but that was it. Sorry.
    Last edited by bobspez; 10-28-2018, 12:11 PM.

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    • #3
      I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for taking the time, means a lot.Can I ask if you did turn it off at 3 min mark or keep watching? So your saying the beginning needs trimming to get to the action part sooner?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by DCFILM44 View Post
        I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for taking the time, means a lot.Can I ask if you did turn it off at 3 min mark or keep watching? So your saying the beginning needs trimming to get to the action part sooner?
        I stopped it at three minutes and started my post, then watched the rest before finishing my post. I didn't think there was any action, just converstion that wasn't very interesting to me. The guy is sort of self denigrating, and boring, but not funny. Maybe a Woody Allen type character could have injected some sarcasm or comedy into the scene instead of just being deflated. The girl is a bit overly animated. They don't fit together. Their conversation is instantly forgettable. The conversation between the girl and the other guy was pretty good, but could have been shorter to make the point, and get back to the couple. The bathroom scene was another extended conversation about the size of the other guy's Johnson. The bathroom scene maybe could have lasted a minute, the opening scene about 30 seconds before the guy shows up. There's just no content that held my interest. Maybe it's a generation thing. I really couldn't identify with the characters or the dialogue. In conversational scenes they should either lead somewhere or be snappy and entertaining with some tension between the characters, like Woody Allen and his female leads, or even Cary Grant and any of his female leads.

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        • #5
          Yep I understand , fair points. Itís definitely not for everyone and definitely a very specific humor that a lot of people probably donít find funny. I guess not every film is going to be liked by everyone but I appreciate the time taken to give me feedback on this, really appreciate it.
          Last edited by DCFILM44; 10-28-2018, 01:50 PM.

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          • #6
            good movement, good lighting, good acting , ok script
            the story is fluid. Nicely done. Now about the technical stuff: the thirds on her (at the first closeups) are wrong and don't match with his thirds (some of his shots were even centered). The rule of a dialog : right camera thirds on the left, left camera thirds on the right). The thirds were all over and confusing. The angle was perfect. The bathroom scene was first class, but too long considering the story.
            In any case good material. just a slightly better lighting on the night outdoors and yet very promising.

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            • #7
              Thanks so much for taking the time to watch and provide me with some feedback. All very valid points and will take them all onboard for future projects so thank you. I hope you at least got a laugh or a smirk by some of it, that was the main intention behind it .

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