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201 things I'm not allowed to do in the film industry anymore

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  • 201 things I'm not allowed to do in the film industry anymore

    So for those of you who've seen this list Skippy's List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army Skippy's List, lets make a film version of it. An ongoing list of ridiculous things not to do on a film set.

    Entries to the list must be one of the following:

    a) Something you did yourself, and either got in trouble or commended for. (or would have if you'd gotten caught)
    b) You witnessed someone do on set.
    c) You were spontaneously informed you were not allowed to do.
    d) The result of a clarification of the above.
    e) You were just minding your own business, when something happened.

    Here are my contributions.

    1. I'm not allowed to landscape protected wetlands for a film.
    2. I'm not allowed to bring wrapped actors back to set and serve them wine out of red singles cups.
    3. Especially not on a day we're doing a controlled burn.
    4. Not allowed to return the set's only first aid kit to Walmart, despite the fact that we've used it several times.
    5. Not allowed to tell the PAs to search for the The keys to the dolly, or a bag of F-Stops/T-stops.
    6. I will not run electrical cables through an area the greenskeeper is about to landscape.
    7. Not being allowed on a closed set does not mean I'm "not important enough to see boobies".
    8. Standing next to the Key PA and repeating everything he says does not make me a Key PA.
    9. Always check that your walkie is not keying before you take a dump.
    10. Same thing goes for turning off your lavaliere mic.
    11. Do not drink fermented fake blood.
    12. Even if it smells like really tasty booze.
    13. No not even just a shot of it!
    14. I will not call the UPM on his day off, while he's sleeping to remind him we need to return a printer at the end of the shoot.
    15. It's not a good idea to invite the Producer, UPM, or Director to smoke weed with the crew.
    16. I'm no longer allowed to chase skunks away from crafty by throwing empty soda cans at them.
    17. Or shooting them with air soft guns.