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Savwild95
07-23-2012, 01:55 PM
Ive been writting a script since freshman year(2 years of writting it so far) and I came up with a plot but no title yetand would like some opinions and feedback so I can make it better.

Summary: A teenage girl is asked to babysit her 2 little sisters all night while their parents go out of town that is about an hour or so away. The girl is allowed to invite her two bestfriends over for the night. someone rings the door bell late at night,they answer the door but surprisingly no ones there. Through our the night, the 3 friends endure a horrific cat and mouse game like no other. The friends vow to stay together and protect each other no matter the consequences. Can these 3 protect themselves and each other while being in charge of 2 younger lives?

UniqueAmI
07-23-2012, 03:49 PM
What you've presented is a general plot line.

There isn't much that can be said about something so general that would help you change anything.

This is my feeling on plots. ANYTHING can work. Anything can work extremely well. It's how the plot is written and unfolds that counts. It's character, plot, subplots, scene structure, etc that makes a good script.

Your plot is fine. If you're asking for ways to improve, it's probably the scenes within the script that is giving you the problems. The best thing to do, is just finish it. Then put it up at one or two of these screenwriting sites and get opinions. Then change what you feel is necessary.

Just to let you know, if this is your first script (or your 100th) the first draft is usually awful. So, don't be discouraged by bad reviews. Learn from them. But, also know, you have to learn how to know whether the person doing the critiquing even knows what they're talking about. So, it's a slippery slope. But, have fun.

Yep, I present as many sides as possible.

Savwild95
07-23-2012, 04:33 PM
That makes sense. I get what you mean!

So what about something like this:
Chelsea, stuck home babysitting her two little sisters all night while her parents are out of town for a get away weekend, invites her 2 bestfriends Jared and Kelsey over. Stories of a psychotic serial killer all around Powell coming closer to their own neighborhood is more surreal than ever before. One door bell ring puts these 3 teens through a hellish Cat and mouse nightmare any babysitter has ever experienced.

JHar888
07-24-2012, 06:55 AM
I agree with UniqueAmI, finish a first draft and see how it turns out, then go back and make any adjustments needed. while the plot outline itself may not be the most original, it could still be effective if done correctly.