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writethevillain
04-20-2013, 02:32 PM
I'm in the process of writing a script where the main character is a delusional erotomaniac. The film is mainly told from her perspective, but as she is unstable, she sees the world differently to what it is.

However, as we near the ending, we see that she isn't completely sane. She walks through a house that we see as homely and fancy, but turns out to be abandoned. We only see this through split second moments where she is walking down one of the hallways of the house. I'm wondering if this would be best described as a sort of flashback or if I should just write a small action cue along the lines of "For a few moments, we see the hallway with peeling wallpaper, dust and bare floors."

I hope I've explained this well enough to get an answer.

Jimmy
04-20-2013, 02:36 PM
or if I should just write a small action cue along the lines of "For a few moments, we see the hallway with peeling wallpaper, dust and bare floors."

You explained that very well and that is not an easy one to explain.

Sounds like a great concept, I would go with what I quoted from you. IMO

Director
04-21-2013, 10:31 AM
Firstly, you don't need to write "delusional erotomaniac", that's like writing "it's very much better". Just write "erotomaniac". Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for grammar.

And yes, go with the "or if I should just write a small action cue along the lines of "For a few moments, we see the hallway with peeling wallpaper, dust and bare floors.". This way, the audience gets a better sense of her madness, and we know she's delusional, where a flashback scene may confuse the audience into thinking it was another time.

writethevillain
04-21-2013, 11:14 AM
Firstly, you don't need to write "delusional erotomaniac", that's like writing "it's very much better". Just write "erotomaniac". Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for grammar.

I thought that didn't sound right, but at the time of writing, my mind wasn't working as it should've been.

And thank you both for the help!

writethevillain
05-12-2013, 11:06 AM
Been away a while so sorry for dragging up this thread again. Was just wondering if I should write what you guys advised everytime that I want it to happen, or should I just mention it once and leave it up to the reader?

Also, what would be the best location tag for this? As it's both a fully decorated, house AND abandoned and decrepit, should they be two separate ones or should I just leave it as "A HOUSE" in my sluglines and just describe the change in décor as it happens?

khathawayart
05-31-2013, 04:25 PM
If I understand correctly, you're looking to write the "editing" in the script.

She's walking through the house, and we see it as she sees it--lovely--But with quick inserts of the house as it really is--run down and abandoned.

Avoid the word flashback, since it's not a different time.

Set up the description so it's clear to the script reader [director, producer, etc].

She walks through the house, but as she does so, we see her perception of the surroundings: bright, cheerful--a lovely home. But it's not a lovely home, it's run down, dirty, abandoned. With short quick cuts, we see the difference from time to time as she walks through....etc...

Reinforce that idea if anything specific comes up in the scene--a window--a clock [bright and shiny / busted, crooked on the wall], etc.

It's important that the reader can "see" the images when reading it. As if they're watching the scene--but thru the written word. It's a kind of written editing that has to be clear to anyone reading it.

As for location slug: use both in the same slug: INT. Lovely home / Run down home NIGHT




Kurt Hathaway
-------------------
VikingDream7 Productions
Video Production & Editing

khathawayart[at]gmail.com