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onthebubble
11-29-2012, 07:29 AM
I have a screenplay that is presently 92 pages. At the moment I would say that it would rate an 8 out of 10. I need help to make it a 10 out of 10.

This is based on a true story. It is a Christian story, but written much like "Chariots of Fire" in that it is not in your face. The story is based in Vietnam, starting before major American involvement and ends during the Tet Offensive of 1968. There is also a love story, with a major twist.

Here is my problem. There are 2 major action scenes that I am very unsatisfied with. They need to be improved.

Anyone want to take a look at the script and collaborate with me. I would of course split whatever $ this ever made (we can discuss the split). I have already been told, by an independent source, that the script "has a built-in audience and possible funding sources."

Nick Soares
11-29-2012, 11:09 AM
Man it sound like you know what your doing. The biggest thing is knowing when your scenes are not what they should be. If i wasn't so busy with the latest film i produced and my company then I would take the time to read in depth.

Have you written before, or is this your first time?

onthebubble
11-29-2012, 04:16 PM
I've written one book, and am 95% done on the second book. This is my first screenplay. I have 2 more working in my mind.

jdubstrut
11-30-2012, 02:57 PM
I am interested in taking a look at it for you. I am in the process of writing a screenplay that would be considered "violent action" (Rated R to say the least). I am about 30 pages into it. Maybe I can help you out...


you can send it to me at

jdubstrut[at]hotmail.com


Good luck!